Day 7

Day 7: Rain, rain, go away..
I was sat in the Winter Gardens purely and simply because it was dry. I needed to be on my way but the weather was awful and as I watched a couple dressed for coming into town for the evening, no coat, just shirt sleeves, I felt the first pangs of jealousy because they didn’t need to worry about getting wet. I don’t know what real rough sleepers do, but upper most in my mind was keeping dry. It would be cold later and this rain would soak me to the skin. ‘Stay dry, stay dry’, was the message coming from a deep instinct. ‘You can’t afford to get ill. Should I spend money and get the bus? I didn’t know. Maybe I’d have to.’ Decisions, decisions. ‘I don’t have much money. I’d rather a drink.’ 

Suddenly I felt totally dispirited as if the tedium and pointlessness of being me in that minute and all the hours ahead had been captured into one moment of feeling. I was empty. I didn’t know why I was doing this. All around me people were living. Friends meeting on a work break, a small girl subconsciously happy and at home in her dad’s presence, a woman changing from her wet cycling over trousers ready for whatever she was going onto, tourists new to the Winter Gardens. I was waiting, just waiting, oh and totting up what the cost of what my decision would be.

I thought of James’ description of watching couples holding hands knowing that joyfulness wasn’t his. Was this one of those moments?
But the sun came out. Yes!! As down as I had felt, now I had to be on it, no time for sentiment. How long would the break last? Well, I got to Dronfield just as the rain started and found a bus shelter to stand in and then I saw a line of dry ground under the overhang in front of the shops. Sod it. People could think what they wanted about me, I was going to sit there, homeless looking, homeless feeling, tired and couldn’t care less. 

 45 minutes later I discovered that St Andrew’s Community Church had been open all along and the after-school club were waiting to hear about my journey. A timely reminder it’s not really real for me, but try telling me that at the time.

If you want to know more about changing the lives of people who are homeless visit www.archerproject.org.uk 


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