Day Three



Day 3: Can I trust you? What are you up to? I spent the first part of last night scanning the people passing by me. People take a short cut through St Aidan C Of E Church churchyard and walked right next to me, tucked up in the doorway. It’s the closest I want to be to being afraid. 
A man walked past and noticed me. Immediately, he looked straight ahead, avoiding any eye contact. What was I? Something to be afraid of? Something unwanted? I didn’t know but I instantly felt wary of him. Another did the same. The first man returned, eyes fixed away from me. A man and a woman walked by, the woman turned, looked surprised to see me and then smiled and said ‘Hello.’ What a smile, such a small but valuable thing. I’d started to feel vulnerable and question whether I was safe. In just half an hour I’d realised I needed to stay alert. I wasn’t going to take my shoes off in case I need to get up quickly. I was going to drape my sleeping bag over me and not get in it because I might need to get up quickly. I sat up so I didn’t look like I was sleeping, as if that made me safer. 
That smile and ‘hello’ didn’t change my plans, but it did something. I was recognised. I was okay enough for someone to speak to me. 
A man wandered to just past where I was and stopped. He’d noticed me but stood looking the other way. He wandered back to the other side of the doorway and did the same. He just stood there, looking up and down the road. There seemed no earthly reason for anybody to stop either side of that doorway, never mind both. What was he doing? Was it time to get up and move? What does someone with bad intentions look like? I was glad I’d kept my shoes on! He was smoking, he turned and looked at me and said, “Do you want one?” “No, thank you, I don’t smoke.” “I shouldn’t be smoking. I’m just out of sight of my wife here, so I can smoke! Do you want food?” The tension inside me fell away and with not a little relief I had someone to chat to.
I thought I wouldn’t sleep because I was too watchful, but I didn’t account for boredom. Keeping watch with nothing to occupy you when you are already tired doesn’t work. I nodded off and woke with a jolt. I nodded off and heard a first snore and it woke me again. I couldn’t keep awake. What about my wallet and phone, and rucksack? If I fell asleep they wouldn’t be safe. I’ve never had to put so much thought into keeping my stuff safe. I would have to get in the sleeping bag with everything valuable, my rucksack shoved in the corner under my head so I’d be disturbed if anyone touched it or searched around me.  
So, fitfully, I went through the night. No-one did disturb me. I owe a big thank you to Sybille Batten at St Aidan’s for the soup, garlic bread and whichever member of the church made the cake. I didn’t go hungry. 
If you want to know more about changing the lives of people who are homeless visit www.archerproject.org.uk To donate follow the link https://www.justgiving.com/campaign/timssleepoutslog

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